Church hunt. Flourist. Sister's help.

We booked our flight to Cali to go look for a church. I have a break between quarters, so we'll be there from June 17-22. Yubo's gonna take the time off, so hopefully we'll be able to secure a church that week. I'm still rooting for that church that's 6 minutes or so from my parents' house. Hopefully it's a nice one.

Turns out my mom was already thinking to have our flowers done by her best friend. So I'm gonna have to talk with her about what flowers we actually want to use and how much it'll cost. She was also talking about raffling off the flowers at the end of the night so we're not stuck with them.

My sister is going to be the person that tells people where to sit. So I need to work with her on the guest list and seating chart. She's also going to help me figure out music and entertainment for the night. She has connections with some DJs (probably from back when she wanted to be one herself), and I think we want to try to round up some A/S alumni to sing a bit. Thought that'd be really neat since A/S played such a huge part in my life. I'll talk it over with Yubo to see what he thinks of that. It'd be really awesome to have the first part of the night to be like a show, especially since we both have performance backgrounds.

My sister also assures me that she will never let my parents hire a Cambodian band. *whew* I wouldn't mind having a few Cambodian songs to dance to, but not a Cambodian band that has a female singer wearing a cowboy hat trying to sing "Kryptonite" -- I say that because it really happened. It was a painful night.

So as it stands now, I hope the guests will be able to enjoy a night of good live music along with some good DJing. I think this way we might be able to capture a good fusion of our cultures and backgrounds.

I suppose my sister is my liaison for these matters. I'm not sure if my parents fully understand what we'd like to do as far as combining stuff. For a moment, my dad didn't think they needed to be at the church wedding, and told Yubo's parents that they didn't need to be at the Chinese one. I really hope we can clear things up the week we visit.

First dance song. Idea for wedding favors.

Right now we're in search of a song for our first dance. We've asked some friends to write songs for us because we're not impressed by the selection already out there. (BTW, if you would like to write a song for us, please let us know. It would really mean a whole lot to us.) Anyway, we were considering whether we should have the author sing it or if we should sing it ourselves (whatever song we choose). Since we've asked a few people, we thought it'd be really nice to make a CD of the songs written for us (assuming we receive a decent number of songs to warrant a CD).

Aside from pillow mints, we're not sure if we're going to do wedding favors. (Unless there's some significance to those rather fragrant fake flowers that guests receive at the door of the reception, I'm thinking I'd rather not pass out something so tacky.) Reading up on American wedding traditions, wedding favors often end up a waste of money.

But considering the music CD and the wedding favors, that lead to me thinking that it would be really neat if we took our favorite love songs and recorded our own versions of them. Put them on a CD and give them as wedding favors.

Now, the downside to that idea is that I'm not confident in my singing voice still. Also, by giving people this CD of us singing these covers, I don't want it to come off as.... I can't think of the word for it, but I think you know what I'm getting at. Especially because the music would really only be so special to us.

Any comments/suggestions/advice would be very much welcomed.

t3h planning. it b3ginz.

Now that we're just about caught up, I don't think there will be many versions anymore. So now we (read I) will be posting as things happen. Yubo says he'll blog on Monday. Now, he didn't say which Monday, so don't get your hopes up. Hopefully it happen soon. I want to read his version of things too. ^_^

A long while ago, I started an Excel sheet for our guest list to give us a central place where we could add people as we thought of them. He barely got to his side of the list a few weeks ago because my dad needed some numbers to make sure the restaurant he was thinking of would work for us.

Until just recently, we were waiting on my dad to find an auspicious date for our wedding. Since the new Chinese calendar hasn't come out yet, my mom told us to just pick a day. It wouldn't matter since we don't believe in lucky days anyhow, so we should find something that worked best for us.

The earliest we could get married is in March, but I didn't want our wedding anniversary and my birthday in the same month. So April, since we want it to happen asap. Easter next year will be April 4, so Pastor Wayne requested for after Easter. That left the 10th, 17th, and 24th. Yubo and I both don't like the 17th for some reason, and the 24th felt too late. So April 10, 2010 is our decided date (here's your electronic save-the-date, readers).

Now, don't jump for joy yet. My dad still needs to confirm reservations for the restaurant. I have a break between quarters which I'll spend down in Cali looking at churches. Once we find a church, we need to make sure they'll allow Pastor Wayne to marry us in their church. (A lot of churches won't allow outside pastors to perform weddings in their sanctuaries. Some will allow it after they check out the pastor.) One of the churches we're considering Pastor Wayne told us about. If we like it (which I hope we do because it's only 6 minutes away from my parents' house and about 12 or so minutes from the restaurant), I think it'll give us a better chance of getting Pastor Wayne in there to marry us.

Our friend Edith from church does flowers. We're still trying to figure out if we want to fly her down to do our flowers for us, or how that's going to work. I have the feeling that my wanting fake flowers isn't really gonna fly, so I need a backup with someone to do real flowers. LoL. Trying to figure out this whole inexpensive but still elegant balance to things.

So right now it's just a lot of waiting. I'm sure it's going to snowball into some huge ridiculous stressful mess. I'm gonna try my darnedest to avoid that as much as possible. The Chinese ceremony should be ok. I think my parents are handling most of that, and it's pretty laid back anyway. I'm concerned about the church stuff, and how we're going to combine our cultures into the reception.

Yubo's already being indecisive about things. I had an idea for our save-the-date cards. He really liked it, despite how crude my sample was, but he wanted to look for something else still. Problem is that he doesn't even have the slightest idea of what he wants to look for. ::sigh:: My fiancé. My dear wants-to-be-involved-but-refuses-to-make-anything-close-to-a-decision fiancé.

Because we're so opposite in our personality types, he doesn't understand why I want to preplan as much as possible to make things go more smoothly towards the end. He thinks, "We have a year. That's PLENTY of time," loveable procrastinator that he is.

I know there's a lot to learn about this planning stuff. Still need to decide if I'm going to try to buy my white gown or rent it. Need to figure out a budget for things. Figure out who's paying for what. Blah blah blah.

Royce and MyLe Yuen from church had a Chinese + Christian wedding like we're going to have. I think it'd be really good for us to talk with them and see how things were like for them. I think they're super busy though. They just had a baby. But hopefully there will be some time to talk with them.

Anyway, so that's where we're at now. I begin my diet plan on Monday. We'll see how this all goes.

The lengthy engagement process.

Mochi's version.
I just skimmed through the other entries. Man, I sure do write a lot. I hope I didn't scare away what few readers there were.

Anyway, I'll try my best to be brief about this one. If you haven't already read the super lengthy entry from my dj and are crazy enough to want to read it, lemme know and I'll link you.

The highlights:

August 28, 2008.
Yubo and I fly down with the intent of Yubo and his parents asking my parents if I can marry Yubo. We all enjoy some dim sum. Go back to my parents house for dessert and tea. The parents learn more about each other. Then Mr. Crumly finally gets to the business of things, and asks for my dad's permission to let me marry Yubo. My dad explains to him the Chinese traditions concerning this whole engagement stuff. So we decide to find a date for the official engagement ceremony/party.

September 6, 2008.
Before leaving Cali, my mom gave me the ok to tell people we were engaged. My dad said that we weren't yet until the ceremony. My mom encouraged us to have a romantic dinner and have him propose if we wanted to be American about it. We're two states away, so as long as nobody told my dad. =P
So we had a very nice, mostly free dinner at Bonefish Grill (because we had a coupon). I still hadn't seen the engagement ring with the diamond actually set in it. And because of some confusion during the whole trip, I still wasn't sure if we were really engaged yet.
When we got home from dinner I asked, "So if we're actually engaged, can I at least see the ring?" So I grabbed the ring box from his luggage (he'd brought it down to show it off to our parents). I climbed into bed next to him, and he asked me to marry him. I said yes. He gave me the box. I opened it and saw the ring. It was so beautiful. Then he took it out of the box, and slipped the ring onto my finger. And I started crying. I actually thought I wouldn't, because it wasn't a surprise. But I cried, and he got a little misty-eyed too.

I wore the ring from time to time, usually to church or whenever we were out around people. Didn't make a big fuss about it because I still was uncertain about telling people.

December 28, 2008.
Woke up pretty early to start getting ready. Curled my hair and my mom pinned it up. Did my makeup. Got dressed. Then just waited.
I missed out on a good lot because I had to stay in the bedroom until someone came to present me to Yubo's family. Lots of laughing and fun and jokes. Apparently, my dad is hilarious. I wish I was smart enough to ask someone to video tape. But there are tons of pictures on facebook. Most of what was said echoed what happened that morning on August 28th, but a little more formal with everyone dressed up. Yubo went down on one knee in front of everyone to do a formal proposal. It was all pretty entertaining.

Enjoyed some awesome food and great company. Felt so blessed to see so many of my friends there to share that moment with me.

Afterwards, Yubo and I ran off with Chin to CSUF to take our (American) engagement photos. And that was it. Finally officially engaged, no matter who asked.

Yubo's version.
I wonder if he'll even have a version of this. If he does, maybe he'll share about what I missed out on.

The struggles we've overcome: Balancing each other.

Mochi's version.
We've all heard of how opposites attract. Through our premarital counseling, I've come to understand that this opposition is necessary because your partner provides for you what you are lacking. Together you are more than what you can be on your own. Most of the differences Yubo and I have drive me nuts. They're the things that annoy me the most because they're so different from me. But at the same time, I recognize how he balances me out. We would work much better together if we could just open up to each other's ways and allow ourselves to be balanced.

In the book that we're using for our premarital counseling -- "Preparing for Marriage" by Boehi, Nelson, Schulte, Shadrach, and Rainey (all men, awkwardly enough) -- there's a chart in the "Evaluating Your Relationship" section. You rank yourself, and then your partner, according to these qualities and traits listed. Then you compare your markings with each other.

Our answers were pretty similar. In nearly all of the qualities/traits, we were opposite.

The book asks, "How have you seen your differences benefit your relationship?"

I answered, "We give each other different perspectives -- a brand new way of looking at something that broadens our minds." Because we're different, and have different values and backgrounds, he will see things in a whole other way than I would. I keeps me from being too narrowminded about things.

The book asks, "What differences have caused friction and conflict in your relationship?"

I answered, "The conflict really comes when I forget that it's ok for him to be different." Because all of our differences have the potential to become conflict.

I finally got him to take his Myers-Briggs test. I am an ISFJ (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging), and he is an INFP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving).

I'm a more extreme introvert than he is. He doesn't feel so drained by social situations, which helps me be more social that I normally would be on my own.

My sensing means that I prefer information that is more tangible and concrete. I like details and facts. Actually, I will rarely make a decision unless I have all the information I can possibly get. When I have the energy for it, I'll do a lot of research. And I like thinking of things in the here and now.
His intuition means that he can trust information that is abstract and theoretical. He likes thinking of things as they can be in the future.
The way we balance each other here is I can keep him grounded, and help him achieve his grand ideas of the future by tackling issues in the present. If he has an amazing idea, I help him figure out if it's even possible in reality.

We're both feelers, though he's more than I am. That means that when we come across a decision to be made, we're more subjective than objective in our approach. I am slightly more capable of detaching myself from a situation to take an objective look at it. This is where my dad tells me that I think about things a lot. This is also where I say I think about things too much. Because I lean more towards Feeling than Thinking, my feeling gets in the way of my thinking. =P
So Yubo and I are pretty much bleeding hearts, but we have sense enough to not bleed everywhere possible. We both would rather feed a bum than give him money. Stuff like that.

The last one is where Yubo and I probably butt heads the most. Judgers like to have matters settled while Perceivers like to keep their options open. I think this reflects how I like having a schedule and trying to stick to it where he's a go-with-the-flow, fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy.
As far as balancing each other here: I help him get things done. He helps me relax a little bit.

We went through a little section about spiritual compatibility as well, where I said that we're not very spiritually compatible. This is because I feel I'm more open and straightforward about my spirituality. He won't talk about it unless he has good reason to.

Being a new Christian, and being the kind of person that I am, I'm very eager to learn as much as I can about Christianity (and other beliefs and religions too). I love reading, listening, and watching anything that has to do with the history of it, conspiracies, books that aren't part of the Canon. I'm trying to get as much knowledge as I can about what the Bible is all about, what it's really saying, how it applies to today. I am amazed (and almost appalled) that so many Christians have never read the entire Bible. It's the word of God. It's our weapon against the darkness. I figure, if you believe in God, why wouldn't you read every single word He had written down for us?
Yubo's been calling himself a Christian since 8 years old. He went to Sunday school, learned all the stories, knows most of the answers. Most because he wasn't able to answer a lot of the questions I had. (He's also never read the Bible entirely, and doesn't seem to have much desire to.)
However, Yubo says that my hunger for the Lord is quite contagious and has drawn him in. Because I'm constantly seeking more, I'm kinda dragging him along with me (without really intending to). Sometimes when I find something new, it reminds him of something he already knew. And sometimes I find something that he hasn't heard before. The hard questions that I ask make him think. (Unfortunately, I'm still waiting on answers for quite a few questions.)

Even if we didn't take these test thingies, it's still really important to understand these things about each other. It all kind of just confirms speculations. We know that these tests aren't absolute, but they do help to provide a greater understanding. We're not scores or definitions or exact types. We're people with different ways of thinking about the world and interacting with the world, with different backgrounds and expectations and needs. But sometimes it helps to have a generality as a guide. We're too complex. Need something a little more simple to understand. So using these simple generalities, we can more effeciently and effectively find ways to work together. Of course, that's all "saying". We need to get to the "doing."

Yubo's version.
He keeps telling me it's gonna happen. Figured out the whole blogging from his iPhone. Doesn't look like he can edit a previous post that way though. Anyway, I'll keep encouraging him. I really want you guys to get his side of things instead of just mine.

The struggles we've overcome: Yubo's gaming, and Communication issues.

Mochi's Version
Yubo seems to have an addictive personality. When he quit smoking, a lot of that excess attention turned to gaming. Well, even when he was smoking, his gaming was quite an issue. It just kinda blew up after he quit smoking. ^^;; Thank goodness he isn't an alcoholic and doesn't abuse drugs. I'd shoot him.

I can't bash him too much on gaming because I enjoy my share of video games too. The main issue is when he allows himself to get so absorbed into a game that he REALLY neglects other things that he needs to do... like eat, sleep, and give me attention. =P

Sometimes he'd get really frustrated at a game, and that frustrates me because I don't understand why he would get so angry over a game. It's like those people that are just waaay too competitive.

Anyway, we both started reading "Men Are From Mars..." I obviously got further than he did because I have a lot more time on my hands than he does. I haven't finished it yet, and he hasn't moved from Chapter 3. But from what we have read, men have a cave that they have to retreat to. It's where they go to be alone, relax, sort out problems they haven't solved yet, etc. Then when they're done doing what needs to be done in their cave, they come back out to the world. The cave can be anything from zoning out on the couch watching television or getting absorbed in some hobby. Yubo's cave is gaming (and select television shows). The thing with Yubo is that he rarely comes out of his cave. I've talked with him about this a lot. I've told him many times that I feel like I have to compete with these things for attention, which makes me feel extremely neglected because it's as if it doesn't even matter if I'm there or not.

This is mostly where our communication issues stem from. I get upset when I have to repeat myself due to his lack of listening caused by a tv show or game. Just like how his smoking made it so hard to hold his hand, gaming makes it so hard to interact with him. There are times when I feel so neglected that I have horrible thoughts: I could go kill myself in the other room right now and he wouldn't find me for another 5 hours. Lucky for him that I think suicide is unforgiveable and a cowardly thing to do... and I just haven't been that depressed in a long time now. But what I'm getting at is his lack of attention towards me makes me feel absolutely worthless. I say again, we've talked about this a lot... well, more like I've talked to him a lot about this. I don't know how much he got out of those conversations speeches.

Actually, we've had some really good discussions about a lot of things in our relationship so far. I think we've made a lot of progress. Sometimes I do forget that when there's a relapse. It's that one step forward, ten million steps back kind of feeling. I am encouraged when he does remember things we've talked about. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out a way to talk to him about issues without him listening to me as a teenager would his mom lecturing. A lot of the time it just seems like he's not very receptive when I want to talk about something. He's mentioned that if he feels he might be in the wrong, his defense goes up and he avoids. That's how he deals with conflict.... or doesn't deal with conflict. I start off trying to resolve things in a healthy way, but him getting defense naturally puts me on the offense. Not aggressive, but probably more assertive than I should be.

One thing he always likes to reflect on is how we never ran out of things to talk about when we were dating. Well, duh. We didn't know much about each other back then. Of course we had so much to talk about because there was so much to learn. Nowadays, it's not so often that we talk like we used to. I still make random observations that spark conversation now and then, but since our time together each day is limited, we just don't make the time to talk to each other face to face.

What makes things worse is I've taken two or three communications classes. With every new lesson, I remember thinking on how Yubo and I don't do those things that make for good communication. But since I took the classes and he didn't, it was hard to pass on the information without feeling like I was trying to "fix" him. I feel horrible because I know all the information, but can't seem to put it into practice because my partner doesn't also know this information. I think we'd all be better off if we took at least two communications classes. It's unfortunate that we're so impersonal nowadays. E-mail, text messaging, myspace, facebook... I've fallen into this pit where I'd rather e-mail someone than call them. Too concerned about disrupting people's lives instead of trying to be a part of it.

Oh, I kinda went off there. Sorry. Anyway, our premarital homework has a section on Authentic Communication, or something like that. I don't recall if we went through it yet... I think we should have. I'm concerned that I don't recall much of that discussion. It kinda went through what I learned in comm classes. Active listening, saying what you mean, clarifying what you hear and say, etc. I feel like nothing's come of that session though. I've been wanting to go over some sessions again, like the expectations thing, but he's been so busy and has been coming home so tired. I get mad because he still stays up late to veg out in front of the tv instead of just go to bed and get the sleep he needs.

Ugh. I'm sure you've noticed that this is something that we really have yet to overcome. Maybe I shouldn't have written about it yet. But I think this will be one of those that will be constant. It takes work to be a good communicator. I think he hasn't found the worth of expending that energy to be a good communicator. I'm not trying to say that I'm great or anything. Actually, I'm horrible at verbalizing thoughts. It's something that we both have to work on together. I have to let him know that he's very worth my time, and be patient until he can let me know that I'm worth his. And God sure has put me in a position to really practice patience.

Yubo's version.
I think we need to find a way for him to blog on his precious iPhone.

The struggles we've overcome: Yubo's smoking.

Mochi's version.
I'll try my best to not write a history book about this. Yubo's smoking was our most difficult struggle to date. Who knows if we'll face something worse, but this one nearly ended us.

I really surprised myself, and probably a lot of other people, when I started getting involved with Yubo. I was very firm about not dating anyone that drank or smoked. So what did I do? Started dating someone that drank and smoked. The logic? None.

I won't get too much into the drinking. Let's say I eventually got to the point where I recognized that I only had a problem with drunkenness, not drinking.

Back to the smoking. When we first started dating, I didn't realize just how much he smoked because we didn't spend entire days together. He probably also made it more of a point to freshen up before hanging out with me.

When he moved out of his parents' to live with Joe, I spent more time with him in his habitat. The reality of his smoking became more apparent when I started seeing him more than once a week or for longer than a few hours. When we moved up here, he made a promise that he would quit when we arrived in WA. Obviously, that didn't happen.

The next couple of years were filled with lies and broken promises. I lost nearly all trust and faith in him. I became paranoid and controlling. I really hated him for it. I felt that killing himself was more precious to him than living a long life with me. I thought, If he really loved me, he'd try harder to quit.

The resentment I built towards his lack of quitting ruined our intimacy. I didn't hold his hand as often because it would make my hand smell like smoke. I refused hugs because the smoke that clung to his clothes would cling to mine. I stopped kissing him because it really was like licking an ashtray. It got to the point where I didn't even want any intimacy with him anymore. It was just too much work for something as simple as holding his hand. I made him Febreze himself before entering the house. If he forgot, I made a big deal out of Febrezing the whole house.

He tried the patch, detoxing with Vitamin C, chewing gum, cinnamon, keeping busy. Nothing worked. It was especially frustrating when he would have a cigarette right before putting a patch on. And keeping busy meant spending less time with me, so I felt neglected.

I tried playing the victim, encouraging him, controlling him. Everything I could think of that might help in some way. I started a rewards program for him (although, lucky me, he never redeemed his reward). He was doing really great. He went from around 10 cigarettes a day to about 2-5, I think. I was really proud of him! But then it spiked up again. I would've slept at a friend's house if I had a close enough friend to crash with at the time. Then I gave him an ultimatum. First I told him that if he was still smoking when he asked me to marry him, I would say no. Eventually, that turned into our kinda trade-off ultimatum, if you will. He wouldn't marry me if I wasn't Christian, and I wouldn't marry him if he was smoking. I took it further by putting a time limit on it. Mmm... biological clock. I gave him until our 4-year anniversary. Actually, three months before, because he had to be smoke-free for 3 consecutive months. Otherwise I would go back to California. In my head, that gave me enough time to find and marry someone else in time to have the two kids that I want before 30. We spread the word to the people at church for more accountability.

So I became a Christian, but he was still smoking. I was asking him to pray about it, but he confessed that he could never bring himself to really pray about it. He was scared. "Getting cancer is a good way to get me to quit." I tried my best to be consistent about praying for him. Frustrating thing about this technique was I stopped him at the door one night, held his hands and prayed with him. He didn't even try to stay in. He said he already had his mind set on having one. Ugh. If I had a gun, I'd've shot him. Not really, but that's how upset I was about it.

We finally had a talk about it. We recognized that we were ruining ourselves. It was really hurting him that I had no trust in him. I told him that it hurt me too, but he wasn't giving me anything to trust. The talk ended with a lot of realizations on my part. I was being ridiculously unfair in many ways. He said one thing that really changed the situation: What if God doesn't want you to have children? I'd never thought of that. I wanted children so badly, I was willing to leave the man that I really loved to find some sperm donor just to have kids.

I recommitted myself to him, that I would stick by him no matter what, and love him unconditionally. The lack of trust was making it really hard for him because he felt that nothing was ever enough for me. I made our relationship so fragile that he wasn't walking on eggshells... he couldn't even move.

Soon after that, he quit. I was blaming him for our not being engaged already, but it was my fault too. If I would have been able to trust him sooner, and let him know that I really was supporting him, I think that his quitting would have happened much sooner. Of course, if he hadn't lied to me so many times, it would've been that much easier for me to trust him. No matter. Both of our faults. But now it's over.

I don't know what I'm going to do if he ever starts smoking again. We've had some scares, which made my paranoia creep back up. I suppose I'll just have to deal with it if it comes, and pray like crazy that it never does.

Yubo's version.
He tells me that he's really going to start blogging. We'll see.

The struggles we've overcome: Moving to WA.

Mochi's version.
I won't get crazy about this series. If you want the nitty gritty angsty stuff, you can visit my dj. LoL. I think I'll actually split it up into a series, with each entry focusing on the major struggles: Moving to WA, Yubo's smoking, Yubo's gaming, communication issues, balancing each other.

I understand that it's during the bad times that we have the opportunity to grow the most. It's just whether we use the bad times to create a positive or not. For the most part, Yubo and I have been able to come out on top of our hardships in the four years we've been together now. I'm especially thankful for the struggles we've faced because I learned from a lot of them, which enables me to pass on my knowledge to others that may be facing similar trials. I've taken communications classes, read books, researched online, watched videos, and sought advice so that our relationship wouldn't end like my past ones. Of course, my past relationships also helped, but that's a whole other thing.

I've made quite a list of the struggles we've faced so far, and not all of them we've overcome yet. A lot of them will be lifelong struggles where we just need to make sure that God is at the center of our relationship, and #1 for both of us.

The first trial for our relationship occurred months before we'd even been official for a year: moving to Washington.

When Yubo first started talking about Seattle, he didn't ask me to come with him. When he finally did ask me, he seemed reluctant. I asked him where I would live if I followed him, and he said that we would find me a place. I'm not sure what word to use to describe just how upset I was by his response. I figured if I did go, I'd be leaving everything that I knew to follow him. How could he even think of sticking me in some apartment on my own without him? There wasn't even any guarantee of us being close neighbors. So after hearing that, I told him that I did not want to hear any talk of Seattle from that point on. Obviously, we did continue to talk about it. He relented to our living together, and I began the process of withdrawing from fall semester at CSUF and getting Yubo over to my house as often as possible to get my parents more acquainted with him.

Yubo won my dad over by fixing our computer. My mom already liked him. When I asked them about moving to WA, it was very tense. We brought it up to my mom first, and my mom was very shocked. But she trusted me to do what I needed to pursue happiness. She helped us arrange a dinner to ask my dad. So Yubo came to dinner, and we got around to asking. My dad actually took it a lot better than I thought. I told him I already withdrew from the next semester in school. He tried to be a hardass about it, just to make sure this was really what we wanted to do. But he also trusted me.

Leaving was so hard for me, especially the experience of seeing my dad cry. Ugh, thinking about it makes me feel like crying all over again.

The drive was crazy. It was a little stressful because Joe expected us to do straight shot, while Yubo's parents wanted to make it a little more of a vacation. It was a reasonable request to spend as much time as possible with us before having to part ways. I think Joe thought work was going to start right away, which it didn't. Anyway... no matter.

Mr. Crumly was driving Yubo's car. Yubo was driving the moving truck. Mrs. Crumly and I were in my car. I tell you, God REALLY loves this woman. She is the scariest driver EVER. I swear I should've died 10 times every hour she was driving. Goodness gracious. I love her to death, but I was just scared out of my mind whenever she was driving.

Anyway, finally arrived in Washington. Already got into an argument with Joe. Living with Joe was troublesome on it's own. We're actually quite alike in some ways, so in that sense we annoy each other and butt heads a lot (though not face to face). I really couldn't explain the why. We just don't really get along, and I think we both don't have a very good impression of each other. I think for Yubo's sake, we try.... but it's tough.

On top of all that, I was really homesick. Yubo found me sobbing in bed after I'd read the card Akemi gave me. It was so tough being so far away from the people I love. So many tear-filled phone calls of "I wish you were here" and "I wish I could be there."

Working at Fry's (the only Fry's here in all of WA) helped take the edge off the loneliness. I managed to make some really cool friends that I didn't even think would still be my friends now. These awesome people became Yubo's friends too. I feel bad that Yubo hasn't really had a chance to make friends of his own, but he says it's fine. The one friend he made on his own was a younger boy that I REALLY did not approve of. And he likes the friends he's made through me. I think he gets along with them really well. ^_^

Finding Wayne Ogimachi's church up here a year after arriving really helped make us feel more at home. We met new people and developed more friendships. We feel we have a church family now, which is really a great feeling. The winters can be tough, but spring and summer really make up for it. We've come to really love it up here.

Yubo's version.
Is he really going to blog?

How we started dating.

Mochi's version.
When we first met, it was pretty immediate physical attraction. However, we were both already dating people. I think I was still with Koji, but we were already getting close to our breakup. So I was crushing on Yubo, but it wasn't anything serious. There was also this other girl in our V&M class that would have taken him during class if she could. It was pretty entertaining. I actually didn't interact with him much because of her -- I thought they were pursuing each other.

Sometimes we would walk out to our cars together. That's when I learned about his little Asian pseudo-ghetto girlfriend that didn't have any style. He took pride in dressing her because he had a great sense of style. I commented that I would love a guy like that since I have little to no fashion sense. So we didn't really make any effort to hang out. It was more a convenience thing and if it just happened that we were in the same place at the same time, and our conversations stayed pretty brief.

I was very disappointed to find out that he drank; he was going off one day on how wasted he was gonna get for his 21st. I was a million times more disappointed when I found out he smoked. In my head at the time, that really ruined any chances of dating for us. But for some reason, I still hung our with him from time to time.

After that semester ended, I don't think we saw much of each other at all. It wasn't until we randomly ran into each other again... maybe the semester after that? By now, I was already involved with Justin. Don't know how it all worked out, but eventually Yubo and I were having lunch together nearly every day. We were getting to be pretty good friends. Somewhere in there, I told him I was totally crushing on him that first semester, and he confessed that he liked me then too. We got a good laugh out of it, and wondered what would have happened if we told each other then.

Through the soap opera that was my relationship with Justin, Yubo would often try to cheer me up. Things continued to go downhill with J, but Yubo was always there to let me use his shirt as a hankie. I think we all knew what Yubo was trying to do (and he wasn't always entirely single throughout it all).

Went through a phase where Yubo and I started avoiding each other. I would get really annoyed with him. Yeah... I actually found him to be ridiculously irritating. I actually walked out on him while we were hanging out at Brea Mall. He said something that kinda pissed me off. I told him I was going to walk home. I believe he actually laughed at me. So I left him. Didn't actually walk home; I had J pick me up. That built more animosity between the two. ^^;; Despite all that, sometimes I still found myself calling him to hang out. And amazingly, he'd still want to hang out.

So..... blah blah blah. I initiated our first kiss. I felt really bad about it because he wasn't single at the time. He gave me the biggest load of bs, explaining how it wasn't cheating unless he initiated it. So we had our fun from time to time. Matt came and went. J came and went again. Mark came and went. Yubo was sprinkled in here and there. J.... lingered. I have to say that was the most agonizing and destructive breakup in my life. I was so ugly through it all. Yubo and J both told me that I'm really good at making guys feel bad. Well, I sure did use that skill then.

ANYWAY. All that passed. Somehow Yubo and I were finally single at the same time. It was finally ok to take such an interest in each other. We had an awesome New Year's, welcoming in 2005. I thought we became official on the 1st. He thought it was on the 14th (or something random like that). We settled on the 9th. And then we started celebrating those really dumb monthiversaries that couples do.

To some it all up, we really wanted to date each other since we met, really. However, either I had a bf or he had a gf or we were both dating someone already, so it just never worked out. We were horrible and cheated to be with each other from time to time. When we were finally single at the same time, we pretty much jumped at the chance to finally start dating officially. If you understood my little college relationship timeline, I cheated on nearly all of those guys at one point or another with Yubo. Now we have a joke that if I ever wanted to cheat on him, it'd have to be with him.

Yubo's version.
Coming soon.... maybe.