3 weeks, or 5 days.

We married! Hooray! It happened! But not without our good share of drama and stress.

I probably won't get too detailed about things, so we'll just highlight some stuff. The title of this entry will become clear then.

The Dress
Oh, the bane of my existence. A lot of the drama revolving around my wedding gown could have easily been avoided. It made me wish I did spend all of March down in Cali.

With no sketch or concrete design concept, and no fabric swatches, the dress turned out nothing like I wanted. It was difficult for me to deal with it because the cost was covered by Yubo's mom as a gift to me. But I'm also sad that I can't just blame myself for this. I just felt so horrible because I really wanted it to work out. I had called Yubo's mom when I was deciding whether or not to wear the dress at all. I broke down on the phone with her, telling her that I didn't want to disappoint her.

Anyhow, the lady said it would be better to make the dress in three pieces as one bodice and two skirts so the top would lay well. I conceded to that, even though it kinda defeated my "convertible dress" concept. I just wanted it to look good.

As far as the bodice, instead of following the design I wanted, she took her own liberties to try to "balance" the design. I think I posted a picture earlier. The lace on top gathers to one side and cascades down as a sash. Very asymmetrical and what I liked most about the dress. So the bottom of the bodice went down at an angle, though not nearly as dramatic an angle as I would've preferred, but instead of letting the sash fall from the tip of the angle, she put it on the other side. It ended up giving me no shape and made me look wider. But that wasn't only due to the placement of the sash. It was too big for me. During the one and only fitting I had with her, I asked if it was as tight as it would go (because it actually felt rather loose), and she said yes. When I tried on the dress for friends, they pulled it away from my body about two inches. Given I probably lost some weight due to the stress, but not two inches in a few days.

Also, when she finally attached the lace sash, she pushed up the boning on one side making the neckline horribly uneven. However, she only put boning in the front instead of all around, so the material bunched up strangely.

The material that she chose for the skirts was the last thing I would've wanted. I asked her to use something that was not shiny. I even said that something like satin would be way too shiny for me. When I told her that, she said she knew just the fabric to use. I don't remember which it was, but when I saw it, it was shiny. In her defense, when she made her daughter's gown, what I hear of her material is something I would call glistening. So her perception of shine is not on the same level as mine, but I still figure that using satin as an example should've set the level.

Anyhow, the material was also way too thin. For the big skirt, I had to wear a petticoat underneath so it would poof up. I was able to see the boning/mechanics of the petticoat through the material. She even added a second lining for me to try to fix the issue, but it didn't look any different. The material was too thin and too light to lay over the petticoat correctly. It was also cut and sewn strangely so it just didn't lay right anyway. When I spoke with seamstress friends, they said it was because she didn't cut the sections on the bias.

Edit: The fabric she used for the skirts was charmeuse, which is described as "a luxury fabric made from silk with a satin finish". I can see why she chose it, but still doesn't make sense when I asked for a material that was not shiny. When talking to Fionna, she said we should have used peau de soie. When I had my sister talk with the seamstress about how unhappy I was with the charmeuse, she mentioned the peau de soie. I wish I was braver about voicing my opinion during that first fitting.

I hate to say it, but it was just a poorly made dress. I did not feel good in it at all. Actually, I felt very ugly in the dress, which is the entirely opposite thing you want to feel in your wedding gown.

What saved me was Jane's sister-in-law. I took Jane on as my wedding coordinator, which was the first good decision I made because she really helped me out. Her SIL had been in the wedding business for a good couple of years. She was actually the one I hired (last minute) to do my hair and makeup. Anyhow, she used to own a bridal boutique, and she dug up this dress that she still had that was so close to my original vision for my dress! She just converted the zipper back to a lace-up, and it fit perfectly and I felt gorgeous in it.

Marriage License
I was on the fence about revealing this little hang up, but here's hoping we don't get into any trouble about it. This will clear up the title of the entry.

Again, another thing that could've easily been avoided. I was not clear that we had to get the marriage license ourselves. We didn't find out until the rehearsal on Thursday. By the time we found out, the license office was closed and Yubo was going to leave for Vegas that night anyway. But he said he would make sure to get back in town in time to get the license. We had to turn in our application by 3pm in order to get it on the same day. He said he would shoot to be back in town by 1pm.

Friday morning, it was looking good for us to get the license in time. He left before most of the boys, but the stress stacked as his phone died and I couldn't get a hold of him. But it sounded like he would stop by home to freshen/clean up, then get to my house by 2pm.

I haven't asked him what happened, but he didn't arrive at my house until 3:00p. I tried applying online when I saw the option, but the box for the bride's middle name was mandatory to fill out, and I don't have one. So I figured we had to go down with the paper application.

Yubo still wanted to try to go, even though I knew it wouldn't happen. The lady at the window confirmed that the app needed to be turned in by 3pm to receive the license the same day. She also told me for the online application, I could've just put a dash, which I didn't see in any of the instructions on the site. So frustrating.

We left dejected. Yubo muttered something about, "I should've come straight here," but again, I haven't asked him what he did to not arrive at my house when we agreed. I tend to think he probably thought he could take a quick nap.

Anyway, Pastor Wayne told me that we would still go through with the ceremony and apply for a marriage license when we got back up to WA after the honeymoon. We would still be married in God's eyes, and just not legally in California. However, because of legalities, Yubo's dad seriously suggested we fly to Vegas the night of the wedding to get legally married.

We didn't do it, thankfully. I think it would've ruined my feelings about our wedding. We went through the honeymoon, got home, and applied for our marriage license up here in WA. We got to the office when they should've been closing, but the worker was gracious enough to finish up with us, closing 30min later than he was supposed to.

On April 27th at around 8pm, we got Yubo's best man Joe and my honor attendant Eric to witness our legal marriage at the church office with Pastor Wayne. So now we've been married for either 3 weeks or 5 days, and it's up to us if we want to celebrate our anniversary on April 10th or April 27th. I say it gives Yubo a second chance if he forgets the 10th.

Super Early Reception
The church ceremony was much much MUCH shorter than the time I had allotted. We ended up having guests follow us from the church to the restaurant, resulting in nearly all of his side getting there a good.... 1.5hr before we wanted them there. My dad didn't know what to do because they were there so early. We ended up just seating them and explaining to them that it would be quite a wait. I felt so bad because a lot of them ended up going to the next door bakery or 99 Ranch Market for snacks to tide them over. But I think most of them still enjoyed it. I mean, they still stayed for most of it.

Uninvited Guests
This issue apparently caused some tension between Joe and Eric. Feel so bad about it, but not sure if it really could've been helped.

Three of Yubo and Joe's friends showed up at the restaurant. I had not been informed in any way that they wanted to come. The frustrating thing was that one of them is friends with me on FB and I didn't hear anything from her about coming. Awkwardly enough, neither had Yubo. Seems Joe was the only one that knew they were coming.

Anyway, I had made a HUGE deal to people on FB that if I did not get their address (physical mailing or e-mail), they would not receive an invitation. However, I made it possible for people to just tell me they were coming or not. Some of my friends could probably attest to my frequent emails, FB messages, and texts wondering if they were ever going to respond to me about coming or not. My dad was hounding me for the exact number of tables I needed. Because of that, I also said that although I didn't want to, I would turn people away that didn't RSVP because of such limited space. So when these three showed up, Eric was prepared to do just that for me. That obviously didn't come off very well to them and to Joe, but we did let them stay.

When Joe told us that they had arrived, my reaction was probably far from what it should've been. It was a deer in headlights, omg what am I going to do, can I curl up in the corner and cry kinda thing. I said very plainly (with a horrified look on my face), "I did not invite them," which I hadn't, and that meant I did not have a seat for them. I knew we had those two extra tables, and I knew some seats were freed up from people that didn't show, but I didn't want them to end up sitting uncomfortably at a table filled with Cambodian people that don't speak English and have them not enjoy the evening. At the time, I didn't know that we had the ability to add on as many tables as we did. I also still don't know where and with whom they ended up sitting.

So y'all are probably thinking, Come on, it was only three people. Well... we had 37 tables, with 2 extra for people to show up unannounced (as is actually quite common at a Chinese reception because these people don't believe in RSVPs). We ended up with 42 tables. I was freaking out because it upped the cost of the reception by that much more. However, it was also that a lot of the American guests just don't understand (or don't want to understand) why you give red envelope at a Chinese reception instead of gifts. It was our fault for not explaining it as well as we could have, but unannounced American guests terrified me for good reason because at a Chinese reception, it's not a free meal. Just a huge culture clash.

The Dance
Because the dress was not ready for me with a decent amount of time, Yubo and I were not able to do a dress rehearsal. Then, because I was saved by that rental dress two nights before the wedding with Yubo in Vegas, we still couldn't have a dress rehearsal.

Man, do I wish we did. The extent of our practicing with me in the dress only involved the lifts, which went find. What we didn't anticipate was tripping over the dress during the more mundane parts of the dance. I think it would've happened with any dress, but during the down of the down-up-up of our waltz, I kept stepping on the back because it would drag on the floor a bit.

This bunching on the floor when I had my knees bent resulted in Yubo tripping on me and both of us falling over. It wasn't so horrible, and we recovered well, but nothing like the performance I intended it to be.

***

Despite those snags, we survived the event and are now legally married. It makes me VERY happy that I will never have to go through this again. If ever we renew vows, I'm doing it in jeans and a T-shirt and in someone's backyard or at the church office or something.

We still have to do the WA reception. We plan to perform our first dance and perhaps sing our vow song to redeem ourselves from the actual day. I'm in the process of finding something closer to a ballroom dress to rent that I would be less likely to trip over and fall in. We'll probably have a potluck of some sort to cut costs and make it a more casual thing.

The honeymoon was fun. Yubo really enjoyed his first time to two Hawaiian islands.

We bought a new vacuum (a Dyson Animal), and I convinced Yubo that I needed a stand mixer (a KitchenAid 5qt Artisan Stand Mixer, to be exact) to make a double recipe of cookies for the church retreat we just came back from. Otherwise he would have had to help me mix the dough with a wooden spoon because I was not going to make a double batch by myself. These two purchases makes us feel like we're actually doing the whole married thing. I joke that next thing is to go pick out curtains together..... which may actually happen because I've been wanting to get new curtains since we moved into this place two years ago.

So far, it's been a relief to finally get married. God has blessed us with some little encouragements since flying down to L.A. at the beginning of April.

Some silly pictures and a curious grandfather allowed me to share with my mom about the death and resurrection of Jesus. We have a new brother in Christ, Yubo's dear friend Audie. He gives me hope for my sister. It would seem that Archie had an answered prayer, and I love knowing that she was able to turn to God in her need.

Overall, I'm excited about what God has in store for us as a couple. We know that we probably don't have an easy road ahead of us, but we're praying that we will never lose sight of God being at the center of our lives and relationship.