Photo/Video, Dresses, Performances, Budget.

Photo/Video
The Wedding Expo did help us see what pricing is like. LA Color fit well into what Seattle photographers were offering. However, when I talked to my mom about it, she said she wanted to take me to look at photographers and videographers that work out of Long Beach. The time that I'll get to see them is the first week-ish in January. I'm worried that if I don't like any of them, it'll be too late to book LA Color. I feel bad, but I really don't trust the people that work out of Long Beach, especially since I've never seen the videos from the weddings I've been to. The biggest problem really is the cost of getting good photo/video.... Yubo says he doesn't want to skimp on it either, but I don't know if we can really afford what we want.

Dresses
Asked my dad if he was going to help me buy my dresses, and of course he strongly suggested that I talk to my mom about going to a rental place. I think I've given up on getting my dream dress. I have an appointment at David's Bridal in about two weeks, but I have a strong feeling that I'm just going to end up renting what I can as far as a white gown. That really scares me, but I don't know what else I can do.

As for the evening gown, my mom said I can buy my own if I find one that I really like that's cheap enough. I really want to find something that is comfortable to wear and easy to dance in. I've been looking at ballroom dresses to get ideas.

Performances
We decided to stick to a simpler reception and cut the idea of having live performances from our friends/family. We also wanted to make sure that there was no way anyone would think it was open karaoke cuz we thought that would cheapen the whole event. This also helps us cut the cost of having a live band at the reception for not even an hour. Less to worry about, so I think this will work out better for the day.

Budget
Speaking of saving money, there's really no way for me to figure out a budget. Because so much is being delegated and it's not our own money, there doesn't seem like there's anything I can do. The thing that scares me the most about this is I don't know if plans are being made without me knowing. My sister says she's going to help make sure things turn out mostly the way we want them, but I feel like I still don't have any control over anything. Being the control freak that I am, I'm sure you all can see how unsettling a situation this is for me.

My mom just told me that my dad will ask Yubo's parents for a certain amount of money to pay for things, and that my parents will cover the rest of the cost. So it should play out to both sets of parents splitting all the costs; just that my parents have control over all the money. It seems I will never know the whole cost of our wedding, and somehow that seems wrong to me. And I'm very scared of my dad simply taking everything into his own hands. I mean, I know he's sorta listening to me.... and I have my mom and sister to back me up (btw, it sounds like he's given into the cupcake idea).... but I'm not there to actually approve of the decisions being made.

I'm a little distressed. Although I've never really thought of what my dream wedding would be like since I was little, like most girls do, I'm thinking about it now. However, I don't think I'll really get anything close to my dream wedding because of how the planning has to be done. Because of that, I'd almost rather discard all attempts at getting what I'd like and just go to a courthouse. It sure would be cheaper that way.

I know I shouldn't care about these things as much as I do. I know that the important part of this is being united with the man God made for me. Really no need for gowns or flowers or all that other fluff. I really wish I didn't care. It makes me feel very material and too far from the person God asks me to be. ::sigh:: Lots of prayer... and we'll see how this works out.