Recovering and Learning.

So the deadline thing about updating was missed, and yet here's an update. The deadline was actually his request; he says he works better with deadlines... it helps him figure out just how long he can procrastinate. But then he requested to just keep this blog up. I suppose a part of me thinks continuing with it will be helpful for us. The whole point for me was so we had something to look back on from time to time. And writing those first few entries were fun... I got to revisit those fun memories.

There are times when I get so upset that I simply forget how I ever was attracted to him in the first place. I was asked by someone how I knew Yubo was the one I wanted to marry. I replied with something along the lines of, "I get frustrated with him a lot, but when I just get over myself and see past the frustration, I know that God made him to be my provision." He's someone that I simply need in my life. When I'm angry, irritated, frustrated, etc, it's very easy to forget that. I think the key is to be able to remember during hard times.

Yes, there are things that we haven't figured out yet. But we always recover from our fights and step into a stronger relationship with each other. I've learned to let him know calmly when I need to cool off, or when I'm not in the proper mindset to talk with him. When I actually put that into practice, we both come out better. It helps me to understand the situation better, and it helps him to gather his thoughts to present them in a more coherent manner. Makes it easier to actually work through our problems and get closer to a solution.

It's exciting to think that we're slowly but surely evolving past our cold war ways. I'm learning to not hold onto a grudge for days at a time. He's learning to actually talk to me during a tense situation instead of bottling up, which made things worse for me. Of course we have our moments of slipping into our old ways, but I do think we're getting better about it.

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The Story
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This is kind of what sparked the previous entry and Sunday's entry. I don't think this is a necessary read, so if you don't care for my extensive explanations of situations and rants you're welcome to stop reading this entry now. =)

I had quite a blow up last Saturday night. We had just spent an awesome day hanging out and shopping for new clothes for him. On the way home, Archie called me -- it was past 1:00a her time, so I figured it was something important. I wanted to be able to give her as much of my undistracted time as she needed, so that made me want to stay home instead of go to Julie's as I had originally planned for that night.

I was expecting to stay up until at least 12:00a or so talking with her. When I sleep at Julie's, I try to wake up at 9:00a to get home by 9:30a and finish getting ready by 10:00a so we have lots of time to get breakfast. Since Yubo had slept perhaps an hour in the last day, I didn't expect him to wake up and be ready by 10:00a (which is our deal if he wants to get breakfast before church). So I was also trying to prepare myself for having to wake him up (which takes about half an hour, which means I would've had to wake up even earlier).

I told Archie I'd call her back because I was driving (at night without bluetooth). When we got home and I mentioned my intention to Yubo, he threw me some attitude. I was getting ready to put my phone on it's charger and set myself up in the living room for a good talk. When he started asking me why I was paying $300 for a room at Julie's, that pushed me over the edge. Reason was that I didn't feel like I was trying to find excuses to stay home. Every time I do stay home, I feel my reasoning is valid (usually I'm too tired, or sick, or both -- which has been the case since we got back from the church retreat).

Really, he was right. I shouldn't have tried to stay home. But a few days earlier, we had a similar spat. That coupled with how unaware he is about his tone sometimes made me snap. I threw my charger to the ground, barked, "Fine, I'll go!" and slammed the door on my way out.

I set up my bluetooth and called Archie back. Talked to her as I drove, and stayed in the car when I got to Julie's to finish our conversation. The walls in Julie's house are kinda thin, so I didn't want to be inconsiderate to anyone sleeping. Ended the call around 11:30p cuz she needed to get to sleep. I got to vent a little bit to her. Unfortunately, I still didn't get to sleep until around 3:30a because Julie's youngest and his gf were in the room next door talking nearly full voice until about 3:00a. Speaking of being inconsiderate of those that may be sleeping.

So that made Sunday a tough day.... moreso than usual. I didn't arrive home until 10a that morning. Of course, Yubo was still sleeping. We didn't leave until 10:30a. I didn't even want to fight about breakfast, so we got breakfast and were late to church.

We were able to talk about what happened, and I think we've moved on from it. I don't really think it'll get any easier from now on, but I think now we have a better idea of how to better handle any similar situations.