Honesty, at last.

I am unhappy to say that he has been smoking a bit for the past month. I am very happy to say that he finally said something. I can credit a lot of this to his mom.

At breakfast this morning, I asked his parents what I should do. He wasn't with us because he was feeling sick and wanted to sleep in longer. By the end of breakfast, we concluded that his mom would mention something. She would be the "bad mom" so I could be the "good mom." LoL.

Well, it seems to have worked.

When his dad went to go drop off his mom at work, I took that opportunity to bring up yesterday again. There was no drama. Just talked calmly. And he eventually apologized for lying to me.

It wasn't a surprise to me that it turned out I was right in my suspicion. I didn't get angry. I just hugged him and reminded him that I love him. And of course, I continued to remind him that he needs to be honest with me, because it's much better for me to be upset about a truth than about a lie.

Even though I am sad that the smoking has started again, I feel a weight lifted. I am more happy about his honesty than anything else. It's like I finally feel like he loves me. It's a strange way to say it, but it's true. I feel like he finally loves me enough and trusts me enough to be honest with me, to stop hiding from me. And in turn, I feel like I can trust him a little bit more.

This is a huge breakthrough in our relationship, from my standpoint. Instead of possibly protecting his pride, reputation, or my feelings.... instead of getting that high from "getting away with things".... it's like he's finally taken that step to really rebuild the integrity in our relationship. And I hope this will continue. I anticipate setbacks. What helps is that I know (and he knows) that he can't bullshit me. But we're headed in the right direction now. Progress has been made. That first crucial step has been taken.

I can say nothing more than that God has answered my prayers, and I am elated at what has just happened today. I love my husband so much. I want to be the wife that can support him and continue to be here for him as we try to overcome this (again, but hopefully in a better way this time).